All that is gold does not glitter

Today was strange. For the first time ever someone called me disabled. They aren't wrong. They are also not correct.

I do have an old injury to my shoulder, the cause of the injury I will save for another day.

Needless to say over the years my shoulder will have spells of intense pain for a few days or weeks and then all the other times it will be fine, giving me no issues. Sometimes it will act up, sometimes its easy to forget its been injured (but still to hard to forget how it was injured)...

For the past week now my shoulder has been bothering me and today it is pretty much useless. I can not do anything with it but keep it against my body and motionless. Regardless of the pain I still have to get stuff done. I don't have a helper or anything so I always have to suck it up and just deal with it. Including going to the store.

I tried not to make it obvious that I can not move my arm around, most people did not even pay any attention, which is good. I do not like getting attention that could induce pity on me from strangers. Apparently one girl my age noticed while we were in the check out line. How did I know she noticed?

Well, the cashier was a male, there was only me, and the girl and her friend in the line and in that area. While I am standing there talking to the cashier as he is scanning my stuff I heard the girl whisper (not very discretely) to her friend saying "That girl is handicapped...arm..", I just ignored it and went about check out. I didn't think it would phase me any, but as I was walking out of the store I couldn't get it out of my head.

She wasn't wrong, but she wasn't right. 

While my shoulder did handicap me for a day, it is far from the reason I am somewhat disabled. I am disabled for a whole different reason, a reason that no one could ever see, a reason that even the Social Security Administration region for my home state did not want to give me any assistance. A reason hidden behind my smile that I have to live with every single day for the rest of my life.

You see, I have a few conditions that people call "Invisible Illnesses (or diseases)" and "Chronic Illnesses (or diseases)". While they are real and exist in the most horrific ways, you can not see them from the outside. From a severely weak immune system to chronic pain to extreme allergies, I am riddled with so much pain and fatigue. I do not want to get into too much detail right now about my health, I will eventually explain everything.

Back to today's events. It did not bother me that this girl did not discreetly point out I am disabled to her friend, it did bother me that she assumed I was disabled for all the wrong reasons and for something so minor to me. I have fought for years for people to realize that just because I look normal does not mean I am. Same goes for anyone. There are millions of people who suffer with health problems and no one notices.

I really should not let it bother me, but this was the very first time EVER someone has considered me disabled without speaking to me. It's strange. It's just, it would have been better if this girl knew what all I have to go through daily to appear as normal as she is.

Anyways... I am a Spoonie, a girl with invisible illnesses and chronic diseases, I cant even be around sick children, I have a crazy strict diet now to prevent "flare-ups" and I fight my battles like a girl, but do so alone with no support. I am pretty damn proud of myself for making it this far.
** Side note: nothing I have is contagious or was given to me, most of my issues I was born with or developed over time **

So, moral of my story is, hell if I know... Don't judge a book by its cover? Appearances are often misleading? What really matters is invisible to the eyes? Don’t just look at the surface? Oh I know, my favorite: All that is gold does not glitter. I may look normal, but I am not, I am flawed to perfection. 😸

Kiss kiss meow!